Missing Your Parents on Your Big Day? 6 Best Ways to Honor Your Lost Parent at Your Wedding
Planning a wedding is an emotional roller-coaster in itself. It is often filled with very high expectations, dreams that you’ve been thinking about since you were a young girl or boy, and anticipation of everything that is about to come to pass. Nonetheless, you or your future spouse have lost a parent, one that they were incredibly close with to boot. Planning a wedding that your mom or dad would love and honoring their memory as a parent who without them you wouldn’t even exist or have met the love of your life, is no small task. We’ve put together this thoughtful guide to help ease the pain of not having them physically present on your wedding day.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Before you start running with the little bits of your wedding that you think you would like, take a moment and reflect on what you would have wanted your parents to be doing during this time, or at the wedding itself. You thought about the song you wanted to dance to with them and the fact that they would have cried and been so proud of the person you have become. Own your feelings, and love those memories. Who you are today is in huge part because of your parents, parents shape us whether we like it or not.
2. Acknowledge Their Presence
Though they are not there in person, they are most certainly there in spirit, whether that be in your heart, your aunt/uncle’s heart, or even your other parent that is still here on earth’s heart. It’s not going to be easy for them either, as they imagined this day with their spouse too. Watching your child get married is a memory you don’t want to miss out on. Go ahead and light a candle, save a seat or moment of silence for them, and at the very least place a photo of them. Let their spirit become an essential part of the milestone you are planning, and the wedding day itself.
3. Allow Sentimental Details {even if they are just for you to know}
There are things that hold a special meaning to you or your parent who passed, it’s ok to hold those close on one of the biggest days of your life. You could add their favorite color or flower to the wedding, wear something of theirs, or dance to a song that they enjoyed or you enjoyed together.
4. Allow Yourself to Feel
Embracing your emotions in the planning process will allow you to enjoy the day, feeling their presence instead of mourning on the big day. Feelings of joy and sadness are definitely going to come up during the planning stages, let them, and give yourself the grace to stop and really feel them.
5. Include Family Traditions
Elements of when you were growing up with specific traditions is just another part that makes you, you. Something that your passed parent loved or made often can be served as a part of the meal. This can both be something that makes a connection with you but also touches other members of your family.
6. Dance with Angels
As you step onto the dance floor, visualize dancing with the angels, knowing that your parent is watching over you with love, joy and genuine happiness for you and your new beginning. Play a song that you both celebrated when they were alive or a song that speaks directly to your situation and helped you through the emotions of losing them in the first place.
Try to remember that no matter where you go and what you do your parent who are not physically with you, did in fact mend you into the person you are today. Choose to take this journey with reflection, grace and with an open mind. Your special day will be beautiful and they will be looking down on you every step of the way. Lastly, enjoy dancing with angels and honoring their memory.
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